Encouraging Girls to Speak Up: How to Help Your Daughter Find—and Use—Her Voice

Introduction

“A woman with a voice is, by definition, a strong woman” — Melinda Gates

For far too long, girls have been praised for being “quiet,” “nice,” and “easygoing” and told to behave this way to “keep the peace.” While kindness and empathy are beautiful traits, they should never come at the expense of a girl’s voice.

In a world that still interrupts women more often than men, challenges their authority, or labels women as “bossy” or “b*tchy” for being assertive, teaching girls to speak up is one of the most radical and necessary acts of empowerment we can offer. It’s not just about public speaking or raising a hand in class—it’s about building the confidence to express thoughts, set boundaries, and stand up for what matters.

We hope this blog will help guide you to helping girls speak their truth with clarity and courage—starting today.

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Why Girls Hesitate to Speak Up

Understanding the why behind silence is key. Many girls learn—subtly or directly—that their voices:

• Might be dismissed or corrected
• Could make others uncomfortable
• Shouldn’t take up “too much space”
• Will cause chaos or disruption

Add to that peer pressure, social media perfectionism, or fear of being judged, and it’s no wonder many girls default to staying quiet.

But silence has a cost. Girls who don’t feel safe or empowered to speak up may struggle with:

• Low self-worth
• Difficulty asserting themselves
• Vulnerability to peer pressure or toxic relationships

In essence, they get held back from their true potential. Your responsibility isn’t to force her to speak—it’s to make her feel safe enough to. You have to have her back.

Start by Creating a Safe Environment at Home

The journey begins in the home.

Here’s how to create a “yes, you can and should speak” atmosphere:

• Ask open-ended questions: “What do you think?” or “How did that make you feel?”
• Give her space to finish her thoughts without interrupting or correcting
• Respect her opinions—even when they surprise or challenge you
• Avoid overpraising being “quiet” or “good”—instead, recognize courage and honesty

The more she feels heard at home, the more confident she’ll be in the world.

Teach the Difference Between Assertiveness and Aggression

Some girls fear that speaking up will make them seem “rude” or “mean.” That’s conditioning—and it’s false. Remember, resting b*tch face was created to criticize women, not empower them. Your face is your face, and it’s allowed to not always be smiling.

Help her understand:

• Assertiveness is calm, clear, and respectful. It says, “My voice matters—and so does yours.”
• Aggression is forceful or disrespectful, aiming to overpower instead of communicate.

Use role-playing exercises to model both. For example:

• Scenario: Someone cuts in front of her in line.
• Practice responses: “Hey, I think I was next—do you mind if I go ahead?” (assertive)

Confidence is a muscle. Role-playing gives it a workout.

Celebrate Speaking Up in Everyday Situations

Opportunities to use her voice are everywhere—not just on a stage or at a podium.

Encourage her to:

• Order her own food at restaurants and speak up if there is an issue with it
• Ask questions at the doctor’s office or in class
• Join in conversations at family gatherings
• Raise concerns when something doesn’t feel right

Then celebrate those moments! Say things like:

• “I noticed how clearly you asked for what you wanted—that was awesome.”
• “You were brave to say that. I’m proud of you.”

Every small win builds a lifetime of confidence.

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Support Her Through Mistakes and Awkward Moments

Let’s be honest—sometimes speaking up doesn’t go perfectly. She might stumble over words, get ignored or disparaged, or feel embarrassed.

Your response in those moments is everything.

Try:

• “I know that didn’t go how you hoped. But I loved that you tried.”
• “It takes guts to speak up—whether or not it goes smoothly.”
• “Want to practice that again together?”
• “You cannot control someone else’s opinion of you, and it’s ok if not everyone likes you.”

Resilience isn’t about being fearless. It’s about learning that fear doesn’t get the final say.

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Surround Her with Empowered Voices

Girls are more likely to speak up when they see others doing it.

• Watch movies and shows featuring girls who speak out, lead, or challenge norms
• Introduce her to real-life role models: authors, activists, scientists, and entrepreneurs
• Read books by and about girls who found their voice. We love Finding Me by Viola Davis, for example!
• Let her hear you speak up—for yourself, for others, for what matters

Your example teaches her that courage is contagious.

Equip Her with Tools for Tough Situations

Sometimes speaking up involves setting boundaries or dealing with confrontation.

Teach her:

• “I” statements: “I feel uncomfortable when…”
• How to say “no” clearly
• That silence can also be a powerful tool (e.g., walking away)
• That she can always come to you to talk it through

Confidence doesn’t mean having all the answers. It means knowing you have the right to ask.

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Conclusion: Her Voice Matters—And You Can Help Her Find It

When we encourage girls to speak up, we’re not just helping them today. We’re building a generation of women who negotiate salaries, call out injustice, lead companies, and demand respect.

So start small:

• Ask for her opinion
• Let her explain her thinking
• Celebrate her courage to raise her voice—even when it shakes

And remind her, again and again:
You have a voice. And it deserves to be heard.

✨ Try This Today

Tonight at dinner, ask: “Has there been a time this week when you wanted to say something but didn’t? What stopped you?” Listen deeply. Affirm what she says. Encourage her to try again next time.